DESCRIPTION TRANSLATOR-ALL IN GOOD HUMOR

[proteus]

so you are looking at an auction or item description and you see cirtain phrases over and over and as you become a wise old collector you tend to develop a sixth sense about what the words really mean so here are some common phrases and their translation. THIS IS ALL MEANT IN GOOD HUMOR FOLKS-IRONY, NOT MALICE



I DONT KNOW IF THIS WORKS OR NOT

<THIS DOES NOT WORK>



I THINK IT IS ALL THERE
<HALF OF THE TOY IS MISSING>


THIS IS IN PLAYED WITH CONDITION
<THIS THING IS ABSOLUTLY TRASHED, ITS BEEN HIT BY A TRUCK AND I HAVE A NERVE SELLING IT AT ALL!>


THERE IS SOME CORRODING TO THE BATTERY TERMINALS
<I LEFT BATTERIES IN HERE IN THE SUN FOR 18 YEARS THEY HAVE NOT ONLY RUSTED THROUGH BUT GONE INTO THE MOTOR AND RUSTED EVERY SCREW IN THE TOY>


THE BOX HAS SOME WEAR
<THIS TOY COMES WITH A TATTY PIECE OF CARD THAT USED TO BE ONE SIDE OF THE BOX>


THIS IS A BATMAN FIGURE
<THIS IS OBVIOUSLY WOLVERINE>


THIS IS A WOLVERINE FIGURE
<THIS IS OBVIOUSLY BATMAN AND NOT EVEN THE BAT LOGO ON HIS CHEST WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME REALISE>


ROBOT FIGURE DR WHO?
<THIS IS NOT FROM DOCTOR WHO IT IS PROBABLY SOMETHING REALLY FAMOUS LIKE C3PO AND I AM THE ONLY PERSON ON THE PLANET WHO DOESNT RECOGNISE IT>

RARE
<More common than dirt>


ULTRA RARE
<REALLY COMMON, AND BROKEN>

UNKNOWN ROBOT FIGURE
<THE CAP FROM A POWER RANGERS SOAKEE>

UNKNOWN ROBOT MONSTER MEGO
<NOT A ROBOT, A MONSTER,OR A MEGO>

I HAVE HAD THIS IN MY LOFT FOR 20 YEARS
<I GOT THIS LAST WEEK AND WANT TO SOUND MORE GENUINE>

IN GOOD CONDITION CONSIDERING ITS AGE
<I HAVE THROWN THIS AGAINST A WALL FOR 10 YEARS AND THEN STORED IT IN AN OLD SEPTIC TANK IN MY YARD AND HEY-IT STILL HAS ONE LEG ATTACHED!>

UNKNOWN TRANSFORMER RARE!
<this is a very common power rangers zord, and not a transformer,i have no idea what it is but its rare and valuable-the magic fairies told me>

PAYMENT EXPECTED WITHIN 10 DAYS
<IF YOU DONT PAY WITHIN 3 DAYS I WILL FILE A NON PAYER COMPLAINT AND LEAVE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK>


MINT ON MINT CARD
<BUT I WILL SEND IT TO YOU IN A JIFFY BAG >

RARE- ONLY ONE ON EBAY

<THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF THEM! BUT BUY THIS ONE COS I TOLD YOU IT WAS RARE-AND EVEN IF IT WAS THE ONLY ONE ON EBAY ITS NOT WORTH HAVING ANYWAY>

this item is in excellent condition
<this has at least one broken limb if not more>

i dont know what this is but it is a robot from a tv show.
<im right on the first bit, but its not a robot and its not from a tv show>

this has been very carefully put together
<i made this from mashed potatoe and glue and painted it with a wallpaper brush>

this is in amazing condition for its age
<this is a pile of RUBBISH, its bust,oh man is it bust,its like severely bust but what do you expect its 30 years old,i mean when a toy is 30 years old mint means bust right?>



this is in amazing condition considering it has been in my loft for 30 years
<why?-am i saying my loft is a processed meat factory-do i have a working combine harvester up there? is there a blast furnace or a military exercise field-whats so awful about my loft-isnt it like obvious that if you put it in a loft it will come out the same way unless my house burns down or a satelite falls into my roof>


ANYONE WANNA ADD SOME?

[toyboxraider]

LOL
I recenty bought a lot of SGT Rock and The Enemy figures and they were described "great condition played with" - They are dirty as hell and will not stand up, in fact everytime they fall they take out not only my other SGT Rock figures but they knock down my Mash, Remco and Military One figures also. Argggghhhhh!

And shipping? Shipping? I payed 4.60 in US dollars for a 3 3/4 figure to be shipped from two counties away on an auction, they shipped the figure in a white business envelope for .86 cents. Argggggg!!!! What the hell!!

This thread may be a joke and is very very funny, but it is so true too!!!!

[salvatore]

Hey, the guys that make mistakes identifying their items aren't always the bad guys. Some guys do actually list very nice or rare items and legitametely don't know what it is. I got my Galaxy Ranger stuff from a guy who thought they were Bravestarr items. The fact that i didn't inform him of their actual collectability could be perceived as a heiness act on my part....which it was. lol. The people who don't know what they have are keeping the prices low for the rest of us to be able to afford them. And yes, i'm fed up with everything being considered "rare" on ebay.

Sal

[skyline]

we combine postage!
<you pay us 10 dollars. we use two dollars to pay postage on your item and use the rest to pay for other peoples postage and keep there postage money>

[aeutlutian]

This is from the Video game collector side of Ebay:

"I Didn't plug it in,so I don't know if it works, "
*Translation* I plugged it in and it started smoking

"It worked last time I played it "
*Translation*
1. You played it when you were 10 and now are in your 40's and it's been in a mildew infested closet for 30 years

2.The reason you stopped playing it is because your girlfriend threw it at you , and broke it

3. you know it doesn't work but your a collector who has bought 5 of the same console off ebay just trying to get ONE to work , so you sell all your broken ones

[figurasdeaccion]

VERY RARE AND EXPENSIVE PROTOTYPE
(A cheap bootleg with really weird colors)

[Ghouldrool]

Ah yes. A guy on a local market site does this all the time.

He lists an army builder lot of 20 vintage TIE fighter pilots with weapons. He says: "I don't know if all weapons are original but I think they are"

And then you see the picture. Either all of his 20 TIE pilots are holding Nien Nunb blasters or this guy likes to shop at Repros-R-Us. He´s such a fraud, I hate him.

[stophonking]

LOW STARTING PRICE. YOUR CHANCE TO GET THIS RARE FIGURE AT A BARGAIN PRICE.
<Though obviously this is an auction and if this is really rare then there's as much chance you'll pay the starting price as there is of me finding a carded Stinger at my local charity shop>

I THINK SOME OF THE RARE LAST 17 FIGURES MAY BE AMONG THESE BUT I CAN'T BE SURE [NOTE: "LAST 17" HAS ALSO BEEN INCLUDED IN THE AUCTION TITLE]
<Lot consists of 36 Weequays and 27 Ree Yees ("Played with" condition, no weapons). However, I thought that perhaps if I put "last 17" in the title you might bid anyway. The more I think about it however, I've probably pissed you off for wasting your time. Next time I'll think more carefully.>

WELL, AFTER MONTHS OF AGONISING ABOUT IT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO PART WITH MY CHERISHED CHILDHOOD COLLECTION
<I run a house clearance shop and found these under a bed. My mate down the pub said they were valuable>

[3 3/4"collector]

MINT ON MINT CARD
<BUT I WILL SEND IT TO YOU IN A JIFFY BAG >


AINT THAT THE TRUTH!

[Meatybat]

Its a little dirty , but I'm sure it will clean up = I've tried my hardest and this thing has become one with the filth that covers it. However free with this auction you will also get a glimmer of hope that you may be able to run it through a delouser and clean it .

[proteus]

i pack my items securely.
<i will send your fragile, loose figure in an envelope>

i am not reponsible for uninsured items
<i will send your loose fragile item in an envelope and when it arrives smashed i will refuse to refund you>

[proteus]

returns accepted

<THIS ITEM IS BROKEN BUT I HAVNT TOLD YOU---WHEN YOU RECIEVE IT I WILL SWEAR THAT IT WAS MINT AND THEN YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET YOUR MONEY BACK AFTER EBAY HAS TAKEN 300 YEARS TO SORT IT OUT>

[anna]

These are all funny cause they're true It's amazing the things people will say for greed isn't it lol!

[BoogDoc7]

26: VINTAGE = Made before 2005.

27. BIN $29.99 = I didn't bother to look up and see that this figure isn't selling at .99.

28. Action figure lot = see all my McDonald's toys!

29. Relisted = Dangit, I spent $5 for this figure and ain't taking less than $30! OR Dangit, this thing is from the '80s, so it HAS to be valuable!

All the stuff about common figures is WAY too true.