How does your partner feel about your collecting?

[soundwave]

How old are you and what does your wife/girlfriend think of your toy collection? I'll Go first it's only fair:

My Wife supports my hobby because it's almost all I do and i have gotten her involved. i even got her to collect bionic woman and she-ra!!! the kid is over 18 and out of the house so i seized the opportunity for a toy room!!! and now that she see's it all out on display she see's all the time put into completing figures/vehicles and play sets parts!! And i have caught her on ebay getting all worked up over bids!! So i would say she has successfully been sucked into the hobby!!

oh and i'm 30

[drekkus]

I'm 27 and my girlfriend (31) just lets me be. She doesn't bother with my collection,she never makes remarks about it. I managed to get two display cabinets set up in a room just for my toys and she doesn't mind and the rest is all packed away in the basement

[treckmeyer]

I'm 32, and my wife is pretty supportive. She likes that I enjoy collecting, and looks at it as something that makes me happy. But, I keep all the toys to the one room over the garage, which is also occupied by my kids and their toys. This is because I know she wouldn't tolerate me trying to leave my toys in other parts of the house for display, or anything like that. That would probably be crossing the line. That's why I share the toy room with my kids. And, they get to play with them too, which is kinda neat.

[brcthrift]

I'm 26. My wife is mostly supportive.
1. She likes that I take my 1 year old to garage sales early on Saturday morning and she gets to sleep in.
2. She likes the side business that the hobby has created and manages all the ebay auctions and shipping and such.
3. She also likes that we have a large stock of "extra toys" that are not for my collection and not for sale either. One day my son will enjoy these.
4. She likes that I keep my collection confined to my man cave.

[Deleted]

Sept 18, 2008 18:16:50 GMT -6 soundwave said:

...the kid is over 18 ...oh and i'm 30

You had a kid at twelve?!?!

j/k

[soundwave]

HAHA! My wife is a little older and she has a son! and it is very cool that we all have rooms dedicated to toys!!!

[10incher]

Age=36, wife's age=31. My wife is cool with it and I keep most everything combined in 1 room which she likes. It also helps that for me, the hobby suports itself. She knows that their are alot worse things someone could do with their time and money like gambling, hookers and drugs, though I do like to cut loose on the weekends with friends and a few beers. One thing she does mention is that she wishes she could get as many "presents" in the mail as I do, so I'm gonna have to start buying her some stuff online.

[TheWatcher]

OK I am 31, turning 32 in Novemver. My wife is 29 and turning the big 30 in December. I enjoy the best of both worlds as my wife is a fellow collector. She understamds what it is like collecting as she goes through it also with her lines, such as She-Ra, My Little Pony, MoonDreamers and her various Plush lines she collects.. I think she's actually a little more hardcore then I am. Both our collections are in storgae right now, but one day when we have a place of our own we will be placing both collections on display throughout the house. A regular toy museum we have!!

[spockoda]

I'm 37 and my wife is going to turn 34 in a couple of months. She is one of the few family members around me that is fully supportive of my collection. I think she sees first hand how happy it makes me. We're not made out of money so occassionally she'll have to pull back the reigns on my collecting a little,but she has bought me figures in the past and she has given me suggestions on how to do more with the space I have as far as my display room. She's not real keen on having my figures anywhere besides my room so no figures in the living room,bathroom,etc. The only real issue that causes some friction is when I buy figures,lose interest and sell them,and then get interested in them later and buy them again. I'm fickle like that at times .

[joshtx]

Well I'm single now, but when I did have my gf around she eventually accepted the hobby but was always pretty skeptical of it. And displaying the figures anywhere around the house was completely out of the question, I was only able to stick a figure or two on my computer desk. Needless to say, I don't currently have those kinds of issues now.

[proteus]

just wondering how peoples wives husbands or partners feel about their collecting habbits- its sometimes a tough one in my experience - they either dont mind or they thing you are in need of a psychiatrist.

my ex was very intollerant of my collecting- maybe a reason why shes my ex-lol she would want to know what ws in every parcel that arrived, she would open up boxes and scrutinise my pay pal account, and thought the whole thing was childish.

but my new partner thinks its cool- she even gave me a display cabinet in the kitchen.

when you meet someone how do you introduce them to the subject of - by the way, i collect toys.

[soundwave]

My Girlfriend didn't collect when i met her but has since become a collector herself. I have been collecting for roughly 15 years. And when i told her i collected toys it wasn't very subtle! we were at a flea market and a guy that was going out of business offered me 2 huge boxes of g.i. joe vehicles for 100.00 i couldn't resist. got like 30 vehicles! and we had to take the bus home because i was in college and didn't have a car.

But since then we are both very active collectors always at all the shows that are in winnipeg. (usually let 10incher cut in line with us) and we have dabbled in actually getting tables at shows to sell. so far we have done 2 shows. and did good at both but won't be doing anymore shows because you miss all the deals because you are tied to your table. we would rather trade to further the collection than sell.

Also a little off topic but we ran into people that we usually buy from (nobody from this site) and their attitudes have changed drastically towards our dealings since they think we are in it for the money. anyone else experience this?

[shaxper]

My wife doesn't get it, but I bring in half the family's income and allocate a reasonable monthly budget to myself to be spent on toys, comics, or anything else that I don't actually need. The toys go in my office (out of her way), and they cost about the same as what my wife spends on herself, so there shouldn't be a problem. Whenever she's bothered by the fact that I can spend this much on toys, I remind her how much her cell phone plan runs each month.

Essentially, she doesn't have to understand it so long as she understands that my spending is reasonable and it makes me happy. A partner should want their significant other to be happy, right?

Now, on the flip side, if I were married to (or in a serious relationship with) someone who spent more recklessly on their toy hobbies, I wouldn't understand or support it either. Blowing $180 on a Predaking Reissue when you have no idea how you're going to pay rent for the month is totally unacceptable. If you're single, it's your own life and you can run it how you want. When a partner's involved, that's just not acceptable to me.

[BoogDoc7]

My wife is fairly tolerant as long as I keep the space to my office, and I don't go overboard on spending. I combine this hobby with selling online and at flea markets, so it more or less pays for itself and money isn't an issue.

I also don't go crazy having to have everything I see, and if I didn't have the space, I WOULD cull everything down to the bare minimum and dump the rest.

[figurecollector]

My wife hates my collection and sees no purpose in it. I get the eye roll every time something comes in, but as long as we are financially stable, there is little complaint. She would like all the space back that it occupies, but it is basically just in my computer room and the garage is used for storage anyway (not just toys).

[dannyrand]

My wife isn't really into any of my stuff. She thinks its fun to place my figures in sexual positions for me to find. Otherwise, she is happy I have a hobby that I enjoy.

[jongernaut]

I have an asian girlfriend, and naturally she is more than okay with my collecting. I buy toys for her as gifts, and they get displayed along side mine. She even pushes me to buy or bid when she thinks the figure's are cool too.

My brother's girl is sort-of two-faced though. She used to help him hit all the stores on Saturday mornings when they first started going out, but now she thinks he's immature for collecting in his late 30's.

[kylefromdirtnapp]

Nov 30, 2010 8:30:08 GMT -6 dannyrand said:

My wife isn't really into any of my stuff. She thinks its fun to place my figures in sexual positions for me to find. Otherwise, she is happy I have a hobby that I enjoy.

My ol' lady thinks that's funny, too. I came home to a M.U.S.C.L.E. orgy once.

[urrutiap]

That's the problem with wives these days. They just cant tolerate your action figure purchasing LOL. But look at the crap that wives buy such as stupid knick knacks like ceramic figurines that could get broken real easily etc.

So the wives shouldn't be griping and moaning. They should stop and look at the crap that they buy

[3 3/4"collector]

honestly i just simply will not date someone if they nag or nitpick me about stuff, im in a relationship to be happy. and someone that tries to be controlling or bully me or not show me some level of respect or understanding is just a waste of time.

now more to the point, ive seen this question many times throught the years and this is basically what i say. first of all im not a child and i dont consider them toys, i dont actually play with them. i consider them modern pop art. in a different time i may have decorated with ornately carved furniture or some paintings or marble statues and busts or something.
second and more importantly i think everyone does it thus everyone should shut up. some guys like to spend all their money on totally unnecessary improvements to their cars. some grandmas like to collect salt and pepper shakers. alot of women are known for likeing to have way more shoes or handbags or jewelry than they will ever need and often dont ever use most of. but i dont care it doesnt bother me, why the hell does my collecting bother others? jay leno likes cars, steven seagul likes swords and guitars liberace probably had a thousand rings.
now of course i can see it bothering someone else when the space issue comes up, but thats something that should have already been obvious and figured out before you started ocupying the same space.
i dont know, im sorry but i genuinely get pissed off everytime i read one of these threads and hear what some guys say about their wives etc.. i do not like to be controlling, i also do not like to be controlled. i want an equal only , and that means full respect for each other. so when i hear about women that nag and complain about anything at all i get frustrated. because i have never once had the slightest concern or care for what i girl i dated did for a living or how much she made or what she drove or if she had a nice big place she owned or whatever. i just want someone i get along with to sit next to and enjoy each others company. i want smiles and inside jokes and a twinkle when we make eye contact. if im being picked at or we are arguing then what is the point.

[Ebessan]

^ You're right, but after some time guys have to settle and that's when you end up with a potential nagging ball-buster. You don't look for the woman who appreciates you all that much. Not pointing fingers, speaking from experience.

That's where all that "man-cave" shit started; guys clinging on to a last ounce of freedom. You may as well add a coffin to the decor.

[The Riddler]

My girlfriend thinks i'm a huge dork for collecting comic books, action figures, PEZ and video games. She never complains or starts any type of problems though. She even finds me figures I need on many occasions. It doesnt bother our relationship at all and weve been together for 4 years. When we bought our house she didnt even mind when I took over one of the rooms.

[3 3/4"collector]

ive personally never had a problem with it. none of the girls ive dated have ever been bothered and they have often slightly liked it themselves. but stories ive heard other guys tell sometimes really really bug me. i also use to collect records and the guy at the shop would tell me how many times he had faithful customers whose wives would take their records in divorces and come sell them at the shop and these guys would have to come buy their collections back. and a few stories from friends about wives throwing away clothes and stuff while they are at work or out of town or whatever that they know they still want. its all just very disrespectful to me, and i cant waste time on a realtionship that is clearly a bomb.

[shaxper]

Dec 4, 2010 11:00:46 GMT -6 3 3/4"collector said:

honestly i just simply will not date someone if they nag or nitpick me about stuff, im in a relationship to be happy. and someone that tries to be controlling or bully me or not show me some level of respect or understanding is just a waste of time.

now more to the point, ive seen this question many times throught the years and this is basically what i say. first of all im not a child and i dont consider them toys, i dont actually play with them. i consider them modern pop art. in a different time i may have decorated with ornately carved furniture or some paintings or marble statues and busts or something.
second and more importantly i think everyone does it thus everyone should shut up. some guys like to spend all their money on totally unnecessary improvements to their cars. some grandmas like to collect salt and pepper shakers. alot of women are known for likeing to have way more shoes or handbags or jewelry than they will ever need and often dont ever use most of. but i dont care it doesnt bother me, why the hell does my collecting bother others? jay leno likes cars, steven seagul likes swords and guitars liberace probably had a thousand rings.
now of course i can see it bothering someone else when the space issue comes up, but thats something that should have already been obvious and figured out before you started ocupying the same space.
i dont know, im sorry but i genuinely get pissed off everytime i read one of these threads and hear what some guys say about their wives etc.. i do not like to be controlling, i also do not like to be controlled. i want an equal only , and that means full respect for each other. so when i hear about women that nag and complain about anything at all i get frustrated. because i have never once had the slightest concern or care for what i girl i dated did for a living or how much she made or what she drove or if she had a nice big place she owned or whatever. i just want someone i get along with to sit next to and enjoy each others company. i want smiles and inside jokes and a twinkle when we make eye contact. if im being picked at or we are arguing then what is the point.

Please understand that I mean no offense when I ask this, but what's the longest serious relationship you've ever been in?

If the only variable in your relationship is whether or not collecting toys is okay, then yes, it would be absurd for a woman who cares for you to have a problem with it. But I would hope you wouldn't choose a serious, long-term partner largely on the basis of whether or not she's cool with toys. You have to look at similar value systems, shared interests, similar opinions and aspirations for raising children, etc. In the scope of all that, you can easily end up with a GREAT partner who suits you on a million different levels, but who absolutely does not understand your collecting habit. I'd rather that than a partner who loves my toys but doesn't have any number of more important qualities that matter to me.

I mean, if a partner is constantly nagging and disrespecting, then they probably aren't the right person for you anyway, but the otherwise perfect match who roles her eyes whenever the subject of toys comes up may not be such a bad person to be with. That can't be a primary basis for judging a great long term partner.

Granted, I wish my wife understood my collecting habits more, but I absolutely do not feel whipped or in any way robbed of my freedom. If that's the worst I have to deal with in this relationship (and it's not) then that's not so bad. Great long term relationships are never perfect -- there's no 100% perfect agreement and harmony on every front, but you find a person who brings you far more joy than they bring you inconvenience and pain, and you decide that's worth sticking around for.

Anyway, that's my perspective after 8 years of marriage.

[bowspearer]

Dec 6, 2010 18:42:28 GMT -6 shaxper said:

Dec 4, 2010 11:00:46 GMT -6 3 3/4"collector said:

honestly i just simply will not date someone if they nag or nitpick me about stuff, im in a relationship to be happy. and someone that tries to be controlling or bully me or not show me some level of respect or understanding is just a waste of time.

now more to the point, ive seen this question many times throught the years and this is basically what i say. first of all im not a child and i dont consider them toys, i dont actually play with them. i consider them modern pop art. in a different time i may have decorated with ornately carved furniture or some paintings or marble statues and busts or something.
second and more importantly i think everyone does it thus everyone should shut up. some guys like to spend all their money on totally unnecessary improvements to their cars. some grandmas like to collect salt and pepper shakers. alot of women are known for likeing to have way more shoes or handbags or jewelry than they will ever need and often dont ever use most of. but i dont care it doesnt bother me, why the hell does my collecting bother others? jay leno likes cars, steven seagul likes swords and guitars liberace probably had a thousand rings.
now of course i can see it bothering someone else when the space issue comes up, but thats something that should have already been obvious and figured out before you started ocupying the same space.
i dont know, im sorry but i genuinely get pissed off everytime i read one of these threads and hear what some guys say about their wives etc.. i do not like to be controlling, i also do not like to be controlled. i want an equal only , and that means full respect for each other. so when i hear about women that nag and complain about anything at all i get frustrated. because i have never once had the slightest concern or care for what i girl i dated did for a living or how much she made or what she drove or if she had a nice big place she owned or whatever. i just want someone i get along with to sit next to and enjoy each others company. i want smiles and inside jokes and a twinkle when we make eye contact. if im being picked at or we are arguing then what is the point.

Please understand that I mean no offense when I ask this, but what's the longest serious relationship you've ever been in?

If the only variable in your relationship is whether or not collecting toys is okay, then yes, it would be absurd for a woman who cares for you to have a problem with it. But I would hope you wouldn't choose a serious, long-term partner largely on the basis of whether or not she's cool with toys. You have to look at similar value systems, shared interests, similar opinions and aspirations for raising children, etc. In the scope of all that, you can easily end up with a GREAT partner who suits you on a million different levels, but who absolutely does not understand your collecting habit. I'd rather that than a partner who loves my toys but doesn't have any number of more important qualities that matter to me.

I mean, if a partner is constantly nagging and disrespecting, then they probably aren't the right person for you anyway, but the otherwise perfect match who roles her eyes whenever the subject of toys comes up may not be such a bad person to be with. That can't be a primary basis for judging a great long term partner.

Granted, I wish my wife understood my collecting habits more, but I absolutely do not feel whipped or in any way robbed of my freedom. If that's the worst I have to deal with in this relationship (and it's not) then that's not so bad. Great long term relationships are never perfect -- there's no 100% perfect agreement and harmony on every front, but you find a person who brings you far more joy than they bring you inconvenience and pain, and you decide that's worth sticking around for.

Anyway, that's my perspective after 8 years of marriage.

I have to half disagree with you here Shaxper. Certainly a relationship should be about shared values, but at the same time, if someone can't respect a passion or an interest that you have, even if they don't quite get it themselves, then chances are, they don't really respect you as a person either.

I've had many relationships where there have been varying attitudes to my collecting, and invariably, where there hasn't been at least a "not really my thing, but hey if it makes you happy then go for it" type of attitude; then there's usually other areas where I'm being disrespected as well.

Collecting, while being "retro chic" is not mainstream behaviour and so I'd argue that it is very much a good indicator of just how much they respect you as a person.

[bowspearer]

On a side note, my girlfriend just got the collecting bug and is now collecting Pallisades Muppets figures heh.

[3 3/4"collector]

Dec 6, 2010 18:42:28 GMT -6 shaxper said:

[quote author=newwavepop board=generaltalk thread=8076 post=49514 time=1291482046.

Please understand that I mean no offense when I ask this, but what's the longest serious relationship you've ever been in?

If the only variable in your relationship is whether or not collecting toys is okay, then yes, it would be absurd for a woman who cares for you to have a problem with it. But I would hope you wouldn't choose a serious, long-term partner largely on the basis of whether or not she's cool with toys. You have to look at similar value systems, shared interests, similar opinions and aspirations for raising children, etc. In the scope of all that, you can easily end up with a GREAT partner who suits you on a million different levels, but who absolutely does not understand your collecting habit. I'd rather that than a partner who loves my toys but doesn't have any number of more important qualities that matter to me.

I mean, if a partner is constantly nagging and disrespecting, then they probably aren't the right person for you anyway, but the otherwise perfect match who roles her eyes whenever the subject of toys comes up may not be such a bad person to be with. That can't be a primary basis for judging a great long term partner.

Granted, I wish my wife understood my collecting habits more, but I absolutely do not feel whipped or in any way robbed of my freedom. If that's the worst I have to deal with in this relationship (and it's not) then that's not so bad. Great long term relationships are never perfect -- there's no 100% perfect agreement and harmony on every front, but you find a person who brings you far more joy than they bring you inconvenience and pain, and you decide that's worth sticking around for.

Anyway, that's my perspective after 8 years of marriage. [/quote]


not offended at all, i may have not worded it well or you may have read it a little wrong. but i personally havent ever had a problem with it. i choose cool girls to date, but im saying i have seen alot of toy collecting guys through the years talk about some wives and girlfriends that sound very unlikeable.

to answer the question, my last 3 relationships have lasted 5 years, 3 years and 7 years. but first of all i dont run in normal circles to begine with, i am far more likely to meet girls that hanging out in art scenes or the goth scene and things like that so already they should hopefully be a little more understanding of something like that. but also when im looking to date shared interests are the absolute first thing i look for. im not trying to find the hottest girl i can find or just looking for any girl thats interested or anything like that. because besides collecting toys i am just a very pop culture oriented type of person anyway and i think im understabnding of odd interests and expect someone i date to be as well. i would like to think that unusual interests are interesting not weird or stupid.
also mind you im not just talking about girls that arent interested in it or maybe think its a little goofy or whatever. im talking about women that nag and complain to you about it. women or partners that cause it to be an issue of argument. what im REALLY talking about is any husband/wife etc that give ultimatums.

that is simply something i will not tolerate. through the years i have collected record and action figures any many things. and i have heard ALOT of guys talk about ultimatums their spouses are always giving them. any time anyone tells me something is going to be this way or else, or tells me something like its me or the whatever. then i am done with them,. that is simply not the way i feel someon that cares about you treats you.
as i said to begine with, the whole point of a relationship to me is to be happy. and being bossed around or arguing and such things make me not happy.

[shaxper]

Dec 9, 2010 9:12:31 GMT -6 3 3/4"collector said:

im talking about women that nag and complain to you about it. women or partners that cause it to be an issue of argument. what im REALLY talking about is any husband/wife etc that give ultimatums.

You'll get no argument from me on that one. In that case, it really isn't the issue of how they feel about toys at all. It's how they feel about you.

[it better be red]

My current girlfriend wasn't a collector when I met her...but now she's right along side me rummaging through the junk bins at goodwill outlet stores...and waking up early on Saturday mornings to map out tag sales.

My previous girlfriend gave me the ultimatum "either the toys stop coming home...or I do."

Bye.

[cougar]

my partner doesn't care if anything she's the one that got me into the hobby back when i bought my first action figure which happen to be Ironman from the Marvel Legand Series 1 line.
7 years later she gets me the odd one of ebay an does look out for certain ones when she's out shopping.
With two kids aged almost 3 an 2 I hope to one day pass on my prized collection to them.
My partner actually took that much interest ones she almost memorized names of up to 60 chracters. got to love her trying